the scene had changed into something significant, elemental, and profound.

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 06:22:10 GMT

i decided that i'm officially going to be single today.
mentally, actually.
just, single.

i'm looking forward to it; i really haven't been single in about three years.
since the sixth grade, i guess.
and i have the heartbreaking realization that this single-ness isn't going to last past monday every three minutes,
but i'm going to try.

and i feel good.

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 01:28:06 GMT

i wanna talk tonight; about how you saved my life.

being the idiot that i am, i had a blood test, ate half a tub of cake icing and watched the boondock saints, and then killed myself at the gym.
i'm exhausted and i just want to sleep.
but no, i can't.
WHY MUST STEPHEN COLBERT BE ON SO LATE?

more than that, i'm extremely, extremely annoyed about the way my twenty-sixth went. january twenty-sixth? PERFECT BEYOND WORDS. february's? very, err, productive. march's - i was sick, so i couldn't expect anything, but today. hello, it's called text messaging. it's called instant messaging, myspace messaging. something.

i said i was over it. oh, how wrong i was.
how wrong, wrong, wrong i was.

i'm ready to end it.
i might just take out an ad for the bergen tech morning news.
that would get the point across quite nicely.
plus, the irony would bowl me over with laughter.

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 04:57:18 GMT

it's time for me to tell that you've been keeping me warm.

today was actually a very relaxing, very chill day.
and i'm ecstatic about that.

i woke up, got ready in about thirty minutes, grabbed some subway, and headed to rochelle park to help jen set up for the art show in may.
i always love going there, and i got to exist without myspace or texting for a grand total of three or four hours. but i get to go friday, which i'm happy about. and THEN i went out to eat at this cute place in moonachie for my aunt's burthday.

i actually got to see my little lime-green trailer that i missed seeing this week dearly, so that made my entire day worth it.

and then, the dinner. between eating lemon sorbet out of an actual lemon, laughing at the ridiculously guiddd couple having dinner across from us, and just joking around with the family the whole time, i had a blast. i'm really starting to appreciate those dinners.

but then i got home, stalked a few myspaces, and got extremely off-ticked. so, i guess i should brace myself for an official announcement soon. i hope i have earmuffs ready for when i have to listen.

maybe ishould just open my big trap and do something more than make a fool out of myself. maybe i should do something i've subconsciously sworn to never do - tell the damn kid.

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 00:22:25 GMT

and so you're back; from outer space.

yes, i decided to re-enter the world of livejournal.
probably just to vent, but maybe i won't complain in a few posts.

i got home from my aunt's today,
and for some reason i'm delighted to be back in my shitty, tiny little town.
it's just the air, the trees, my house.
and i'm freaking out (just a little bit) because i hope i don't wind up missing this place (or, god forbid, staying here) when i'm older.

but enough about that.
it's bothering me that i can't remember where else i've seen fisher stevens, the actor, besides on friends.
those little things always bother me the most.

now for the ranting:
i have an undeniably difficult choice to make.
do i move on, or do i keep fighting?
this has happened once already, and i pulled through and won, in a way.
but the obstacle that i'm facing now was there then, too.
it's come down to me or the other person.
i'm trying to believe that the other relationship in question is just a passing, immature thing, and eventually mine will become the real deal.
i can only hope, i can only hope.

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 21:55:13 GMT

just tie the rope, and kick the chair; just leave me hanging there.

besides monday, this entire week sucked.
but not as much as today.

i know, i learned my lesson.
as long as one thing happens a day, it's a good day.
but that didn't happen today.
at all.

and then i got a 76 for the geometry test, i must have failed us history, i got called fat, i got totally ignored, my entire chemistry class knows something i should have never told anyone, and everything just sucked.

as did my whole week (once again, with the exception of monday. i froze my ass off, but it was worth it - and then some.)

next week better be...like the week of january 26th.
that's all i'm saying.

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 21:30:03 GMT

we are stardust, we are golden.

i should really start this out by saying how aful i thought today was going to be. either we would have had a snow day, which i would have preferred a root canal over, or a full school day, which would have sucked.

that wasn't the case.

i get up at 8:30 or so, get ready (i failed to mention that i was wearing a skirt and flats, in the snow.), and go up to the bus stop. well, it took so long that my mom had to drive me and the two other kids waiting there to school. we got to miss periods 1-3, so i missed law, but i also missed geometry. and of course that made my day. everything's okay with..well, you should know who i'm talking about. it's REALLY good, even though nothing really happened today. it was just a good day. gym was great, chemsitry was great, us history was great, and lunch was great. well, everything was good except for the citrus prison. ;] that was boring, but i don't think you didn't know that already.

that's all. =]

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 18:21:45 GMT

this break is sucking.
i haven't gone out yet.
i probably won't go out a single day this week.

i miss the boo.
i haven't talked to him today.
i miss him like hell.

this sucks.

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 21:16:15 GMT

you make me laugh.

well, i'm officially on a week-long break from school.
today started out really well.

we got to watch dateline in law!
"i'm chris hansen with dateline nbc."
those are the best words any of us could ever hear.

third period; nothing. fourth; quiz and nothing.
fifth? fifth was cute.
how adorable.
i'm a dork.

and my extended lunch (that's going to probably get me in big trouble) was even better.
vandalism, calling andrew jackson a prick, and re-naming sladich's class.
that basically made my day.

gym was fun - well, as possibly fun as gym could ever be.
and then chemistry.
with the exception of the fact that every single person in the whole damn grade must know "it",
chemistry was hysterical.
i was laughing so hard i couldn't breathe.
so about twenty straight minutes.
the entire period got me giggling.

oh, and ninth?
that quiz made me want to shoot myself.
and i only got an 85 on my short answers.
but it was okay, i guess.

and, well, that's my day.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 21:13:28 GMT

all you sucka mc's ain't got nothing on me.

yesterday - ate a ton of hershey kisses and hugs. watched love actually. had a four-hour aim conversation. yes, four hours. that's got to be a record. all in all, not a horrible valentine's day.

today - fucking stellar. i even had fun in geometry. (note to self: get those picture up - stat!) lunch was fine, but i missed the jostens ring guy. so i'm basically screwed. oh, well, i guess i'll have tomorrow. gym and chemistry were alright. i got a very off-topic compliment in us history courtesy of kelvin (skuch). and even though i was wearing a tiny skirt in 15-degree weather, i managed to survive the cold.

awesome day. =]

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:47:54 GMT

you're so colorful.

what can i say about today?
it really didn't suck.
even though i thought it did until just now.

first period - well, it's facebook's fault. i just learned something today, and that's al i have to say.

fourth - i had to rush to get my homework done, but i did it on time. so...go me! =]

seventh - free. took some pictures, went to lab. nothing.

bus ride - well, i left my phone on the bus. thank god i have my text messages that i needed saved on aol.

that's all.
tomorrow - i'm curious.

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 21:23:04 GMT

just a glimpse of an ankle and i react like it's 1805.

today was kind of crazy, but muted crazy.
the first 4 periods kind of flew by, and fifth was kinda fun.
oh, brother. ;]

and then chemistry.
it was actually pretty fun.
i got a bunch of sweet pictures.
and i found something out that blew my mind.
i'm a little nervous because i now have to do something i've really never done before,
and it's BIG.
so yes, it kind of made my day but scared the living shit out of me all at once.

and besides that, not much else.

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 04:13:47 GMT

master, master, master of puppets.

today started out terribly.
i dropped my history book on my foot, failed my chemistry test (i think), and kinda bombed on the us history one too.

but then tonight?
well, i wasn't even sure if i was going to go to band night. but i did! i got my strawberry-frosted donut at double-d's. i met kelly, who's really cool. i LICKED MY DAMN ELBOW - TWICE. i took some kick-ass pictures. i got semi-inducted into a street graffiti gang. i got to see soren. corey made me touch his ass. yeah. i got twirly at dunkin donuts (and i found out that not everyone hates me =D). this kid played the accordion - and rocked. really, rocked. it was amazing, to say the least. i adopted a puppy. but not really. i sang "build me up buttercup" with kathryn. and apparently someone thinks that i can draw. that kid also practically made my night. mmhmm. that's all.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 22:12:03 GMT

hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you.

today SUCKED.
well, it was mediocre at best.
i didn't really see the boo all that much, and when i did, one unneeded guest was always with that person. so my hopes of it being a good day were shot to hell.
but i spent a lot of the day with maeve, chatting and all that. and even though we were having an emo conversation, it made my day a lot better.

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 20:31:24 GMT

i miss you.

so, i stayed home from school today.
and there was really no point to it.
i just didn't feel good.

but..
i probably missed something really good, i definitely missed someone (and other people, i guess ;]), and only one person bothered to check up on me. not to sound like a loner, but they probably either didn't notice..or were celebrating my absence. i'm just in one of those moods.

on the bright side, i watched the birdcage and one tree hill's on tonight.

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 21:56:10 GMT

all mixed up in the wash, hot water bleeding our colors.

even though today should have sucked (not only is it a monday, i really didn't get to talk to some people i needed to), it didn't. it was actually really chill.

one person actually made it an okay monday. but it went by really fast. i feel like i wasn't even there at all today.

and the mock trial thing was not worth missing chemistry for.

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 01:59:31 GMT

take me to the place where you go; where nobody knows.

so, today was pretty good.
superbowl sunday - well, it really had nothing to do with the superbowl since i spent a grand total of 5 minutes (and i'm rounding up) watching football.

i basically spent the entire time with my cousins and my grandma. and the milton berle/frank sinatra stories. good stuff. =] oh, and then we got totsied - a lot. but no pinches, so i made it out unscathed. =p

otherwise, i ate about half my weight in food. and thought prince was really, really good in the halftime show. and....now i'm going to bed. but not really.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 22:36:41 GMT

put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me.

wow.
well, besides the fact that today wasn't bad, (i did pretty well on my SAT tutoring, i got a message i was practically dying for, and a very sweet little shout-out) i feel like the world's biggest lunatic.

stick a sign on me and shove me out on the front lawn.
i'll earn you big bucks.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 03:47:08 GMT

though i've been in love before;

today started out as pretty much the worst day of my life.
no lie.
horrible.

but then i went to the winter ball,
and, honestly, it wasn't that much better.
of course, it was a tiny bit,
but then my aviators got temporarily jacked.
so, basically, with the exception of a total of 3 minutes with one person, this entire day was a joke.

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 22:42:15 GMT

i've got to get back home 'cause i'm in love.

thank god for thursdays.

the highlights:
- the loretta bobbitt discussion in law = pretty much the highlight of my life. that had to be the funniest thing to ever happen in class.
- spanish was kinda fun too. =] skateboarding <- we all rocked our pantomiming.
- lunch = aww. really, it was pretty friggin' cute. can't give too much away.
- history was absolutely incredible. kelvin and ali as teachers? a sight to be seen. basically, it was muchisimo fun.

and then i drove up to wherever for this focus group.
and i got paid and left.
how awesome is that?

stay classy. =p

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 22:10:51 GMT

and i'm here to say that you're the star you wanna be.

today = HORRIBLE.
seriously.

i mean, yesterday was amazing.
today was just disguisting in comparison.
i don't even want to discuss it.

and right now, i'm hoping tomorrow will be okay.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 22:56:04 GMT

here's looking at you, kid.

well, today turned out be be pretty swell. ;]

this morning was really crappy and i was really upset.
but then i wound up seeing one of the teachers from my leadershop program, so that was pretty good.

and then lunch.
fifth period just became my favorite all over again.
adorable. =]

after that?
well, sixth period (when i wasn't in the classroom - aka the whole time. well, most of the time.) was perfect. and i still walk with confidence? haha i love it.

let's see, seventh & eight - lab, fun with maeviss. man,that brought me back to eighth grade. c2so4's definitely my favorite compound, too.

and besides that, after school was alright. me and kathryn got to chill, but i think i was supposed to do something i didn't.

and, by the way, i'm in love. =]

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 01:16:54 GMT

sick boy, sick girl.

damn.
today wasn't that great.
school (okay, it was really calm and all, but one of my teachers had to be an ass.), orthodontist appointment, nothing really else.

boringgg.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 03:05:52 GMT

me and you; sitting in a honeymoon.

oh my dear god.
tonight was amazing.
stellar.
beyond words.

so, we had the faculty-senior basketball game tonight.
and it was really, really, REALLY fun.
(forgive me, i sound like a babbling 3-year-old right now)
and, well, a whole bunch of cool kids showed up and we went to dunkin donuts.
running down the highway in your aviators you can barely see out of? not the smartest idea. really. don't try it.
but then we came back and finished the game and all.
but the best part of the night?
running into the boy's bathroom (and getting caught - by a cop), screaming around the school, and getting some very sweet text messages. ;]

i suggest you make your school as cool as bt.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 21:38:35 GMT

i'm on fire, and now i think i'm ready to bust a move.

my doctor's appointment got canceled.
yay. =]

besides that, today started off sucking. serpico in law (thank god! no test - yet.), i wound up missing someone i needed to see a whole bunch of times, and lunch was muy boring.

but then, somehow, english was okay. we had to listen to othello on tape and not only did roderigo sound like a prepubescent mickey mouse, the thing was confusing as hell. and then they were talking about drowning cats? it wasn't that bad, though.

and that person i needed to see? they totally made my day.
oh, and i guess i looked like a slut today, too. =o

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 21:32:20 GMT

i see you all the time; i see you in a video running through my head.

i don't know what the hell went on today.
i was unfocused for at least a third of my classes (yes, i was reading, but still).
and then gym.
i saw a picture that i thought i had gotten rid of a long time ago.
and it did nothing to brighten my mood. it actually - ready for the cliche? - sent me crashing back to reality.
sad.

i'm going to have to burn it.
but besides that, the end of ninth period got me a little happier.
so i can't really complain.